Within The Pages

by C Cattaway   Dec 17, 2017


I've been in love, a thousand times
Down cobbled streets of pages,
Where little girls play hopscotch, whilst
Boys run errands for wages.

I've cried at many lost souls, who
Have found their way back home,
And laughed with joy at escapades
That melted hearts of stone.

I've travelled far, across the seas.
Adventured 'neath the sand.
I've walked a hundred miles or more,
To find the promised land.

If books were ever obsolete,
I'd miss the sweetest story,
Of woe, or love, or growing up,
Or finding little Dory.

But fairytales are what my mother
Read to me, so young.
And I've grown old with weary, knowing
I won't find that One.

I tried so hard to be her. I tried
Being who I am.
Yet still I find myself alone,
And lonely as I stand.

Those pages that I wept in, hide
The fears I live with now.
I walk the paths with every
Character, to wipe their brow.

And after all is finished, when
The book comes to a close,
I wonder if the storyteller
Understood my woes..

Copyright C Cattaway 2017

16


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Latest Comments

  • 7 months ago

    by Tony

    You asked for critique,

    As far as structure goes yours is spot on here. I've seen many people who try to write rhyming stanzas and they will have lines that are too wordy, or have too many syllables which can break the flow of a piece. The same can happen with too few. I would change the 6th stanza to,

    "I tried so hard to be her,
    I tried being who I am.
    Yet still I find myself alone,
    And lonely as I stand.

    I feel it flows better than splitting the second sentence between two lines.

    Your skill at rhyme needs no analysis, I do however challenge you to try your hand at consonence. For example, "while I've grow old and weary knowing." Changing one word gives this line a recurring "w" sound that is pleasing to the ear and adds to the flow of the piece. You can also substitute the "old" with "wise" and achieve the same effect.

    To the message? It is beautiful and you could not have done better. You are a talented storyteller yourself, and my only request is to try your hand at dialogue. No one tells a story better than the characters who are in it.

    Congrats on the win.

  • 9 months ago

    by Kereen

    This was beautiful and captivating.
    Congrats on the win

    K. M.

  • 9 months ago

    by naaz

    Congratulations!

  • 9 months ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Congrats on your win

  • 9 months ago

    by C Cattaway

    Aww! Thankyou all, for my win :-) I'm touched :-)

    Warm regards,
    Catherine x

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