I never thought I could write again
or feel or love within this numbness;
darkness veiled the stars
in an attempt to keep you secret before
we'd even met, consorting, wishing for me
to forsake my soul on the shores of
my lucid emotions and fade
like poetry scribed in sands
in the face of the rising tide.
I wondered what I had done,
how did I deserve this?
why am I destined to be alone or abused?
why does the weight of the universe
conspire against me.....and slowly I'm suffocating
in my lonesome despair sending
my compass spinning, evoking
chaos and confusion over me.....
How I silently screamed in agony,
cursing the world and everyone
in it for the part they played in this
fully loaded Russian roulette,
not a chance to survive, in a matter of
time I'll be devoid of empathy,
as a child's teddy bear,
then I realised that although
they held the gun....it was me who loaded the
bullets, the universe didn't conspire,
my demons did and with that single affinity
the earth and sky emerged,
darkness started to ebb away, slowly but surely
the stars opened themselves to me and
for the first time I watched as they pirouetted
in your eyes in a cosmic display of light and love,
the event horizon of my rebirth.
I listened closely to the chords playing
on my heart strings as they
serenaded you in my chest,
to be certain this wasn't
the echo of a dream turned
solid for a time, whilst it
stained the score of
you between the very molecules
of mine that ache for your touch
at a mere whisper of your name,
the rhythmic pulse that undulates in
waves of adoration through my veins
as the sea flows into rivers
and brooks, bringing life to
the land surrounding it.
The darkness loosing momentum by the meter,
getting weaker and weaker.
Beyond measure.....I am in love with you.
I will never feel the same again,
this fortune that found me
has changed me in ways no
words can express and my life
has more hope, love and promise
than i'd ever dared dream.