Hopeless?

by Victor   Dec 30, 2017


It hurts
It hurts so unbearably much
They're forcing me to do so much
Against my own free will

I just want it to end
I want someone to come and help me
I want to be free of this living hell
I don't want to be here anymore

Only in my dreams, do I see her
The only person who cares about me
She's out there, somewhere in the world
But that's where the problem lies

It's his daughter
He, who's causing me so much pain
He, who's turned my life into a nightmare
His daughter met me once, and she cares about me

She was so beautiful
So full of joy and care
She saw me, and comforted me
Until her dad took her away from me

I hate him so much
I hate him
I hate him
I HATE HIM

Soon, I'll be with her again
But this time, not for just a minute
It won't leave a short memory
It'll last forever

He took her away from me
So I only see one option to justify it
To make him suffer
I'll take her away from him

I messed up
I messed up badly
I tried to kill my way out
I failed horribly

I thought I could make it
I could see the exit
But then I passed out
BECAUSE OF HIM

I'm back in my cell
Writing in this tiny notepad
I'm stuck here forever
BECAUSE OF HIM

But I saw her
Along with her dad
She was begging him to let me go
But he didn't listen to her

He just threw me back here
I keep questioning myself
Without getting an answer
"Do I even belong here?"

No, I don't
No creature, human or not
Belongs in a cell
No matter what

I'm not the psychopath, he is
I'm not the monster, he is
I'm not the murderer, he is
I'm not the abuser, he is

I'm giving it one more shot
Tomorrow, I'll spill his blood
I'll take his daughter away
And I'll never let go of her

NO
NO
NO
NO

I'm bawling my eyes out
I messed up again
I tried sneaking my way out
But he still found me

Why does he keep finding me?
Is there some kind of sensor on me?
Why am I so important?
And at the same time, so worthless?

None of these questions matter
I'm ending it all
And leaving these notes behind
To let him know what he caused

What just happened?
I have so many questions
So much confusion in my head
And I'm gonna get some answers

I just woke up, panting
I wasn't at the institute
I wasn't in my cell
I was in an ordinary house

I looked around at the walls
There were pictures of me
As a child, teenager and adult
Like I was living with someone

Then, I looked next to me
There she was, sleeping
I was overwhelmed by joy
I knew this was real

I'm writing this an hour later
We just talked, and I got answers
I'm still the same, everything was just a nightmare
Right now, I'm suffering from amnesia

I forgot everything
Her name, my own name, my number
I listened carefully, while she told everything
I'm still so happy

But my dream...
It felt so real
Like it actually happened
Though I know it didn't

I'm trying to calm down
With her soothing voice
I feel angry, but at the same time
I feel complete

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