Running On Fumes...

by Ren   Feb 5, 2018


I’m out of steam
So I fill my veins
With gasoline

…Release…

Is what I yearn
Light a match
Watch me burn

…Disappear…

Up in smoke
On my ashes
I slowly choke

…Lost…

I don’t mind being

Because away in this
Darkness

They can’t hear me
Screaming

9


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Latest Comments

  • 4 months ago

    by M.U.

    I loved the structure, imagery and the ending - it's so emotional and intensely powerful. This is so beautifully written.

    • 4 months ago

      by Ren

      Wow thank you so much!! I really appreciate that! :)

  • 9 months ago

    by Tony

    So on my old account I had a poem that relates to this in a way,

    "Behind my eyes my world is burning
    Still I smile as though all is fine
    I won't bother you in your darkness
    For I've finally embraced mine"

    As I read your lines, I pictured a smiling girl. The "camera" zooms in... into her eyes... and I saw that her world is on fire. I couldn't see through the smoke, but I could hear her... and her words were beautiful.

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Oh wow...that's beautiful. Thank you so much for reading! You should re-write that poem from your old account and post it! It sounds amazing.

      Thanks again, Tony...and stop pressing that button...<3

  • 9 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I liked this line the most: "I don't mind being"
    because I would have expected to read "existing" or "living", but simply "being" conveys more depth. Your way of writing is precise and unique. It sort of reminds me of an Ellen Hopkins book I've read, but sometimes her prose gets too heavy and doesn't flow as well as it could. So I liked how you separated your lines where it was natural for the reader.

    The imagery that unfolded made me think of a phoenix in flames. I can see this fire, this chaos of light, yet you find release and freedom in it. Of then being able to find yourself in darkness and not have others wondering why you're screaming. It's almost like a silence and stillness that you can touch.

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Wow! Your words are so beautiful. Thank you so very much for such an insightful and amazing comment! I really appreciate it! It means a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece :) take care!

  • 9 months ago

    by Ya----Na

    Ren, all I can say that it is a very very strong piece and glad to see it's nominated but will be more happy to see in on FP.

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Oh wow, thank you so very much!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

  • 9 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Wow... This is so powerful the imagery and rhyming superb. Best wishes Milly x

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much Milly!! <3

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