Suicide Letters Turned Breakable Excuses.

by Rosy Cheeks And Irony   Mar 3, 2018


Like any good daughter, I move my body forward.
A sacrifice on the table of family gratitude and weep when
I watch them fade like mist on a summer’s lake.
I pull my shrunken body up, drowning in a river
overlapping with grace and drag it
-by the hair-
over the sands to start the effort
of fixation.
I hold the razor again to broken skin, skin, red as the
passion that made me, and slice - again-
in the way I’ve gotten so used to doing.
I watch the ribbons flow.
1
2
3

4

Like any good niece I smile as best as such
frail skin can hold blood vessels together.
My eyes lit with tears in the hope
to be mistaken for wanting.
I hide the cuts under thick woollen sleeves
and hold myself warm- hold myself insignificant-
In that same way tragic beauties smile red folded
lips,
white dresses like torn lily petals ripped
violently from the stem.
I nod my head, Smile for pictures.
Try not to walk in the road the time the next car
comes, its wheels singing hymns of the dead whose
eyes like mine, stare up at a bloodshot sky.
5
6
7
8
Like a defiant human, ill from self-infliction,
I punch the shards of
each smiling attempt and screech like a robin
who’s shocked at forgetting how to fly.
Forget. Forgetting. I want to be forgotten.
I move forward towards a light, a coffin sized
escape so reachable it burns in the places
iced over from smouldering doubt.
Please. Stay.
Dragged back, kicking, screaming.
No! Please. I don’t want to…
9
10
I am so Sorry.
11
12

The razors are clean despite my dirtying attempts.
The smiles broken, frail, poor masks hiding eyes
sliced open from sorry.
I face it. My cathedral, ribbon swollen, bloodied
bliss like an Arabian sky, burning like a sun
on yet more unbearable fire.

Like any good daughter- I hide the evidence.
I think: I love my family much.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 9 months ago

    by Nee

    My goodness, what a piece of writing. I held my breath while reading it through to the end. This is such wonderful poetry that I enjoyed so much, despite the darkness there.

    "Forget. Forgetting. I want to be forgotten.
    I move forward towards a light, a coffin sized
    escape so reachable it burns in the places
    iced over from smouldering doubt.
    Please. Stay.
    Dragged back, kicking, screaming.
    No! Please. I don’t want to…"

    ^These lines are breathtaking! My god, how did you come up with something so beautifully sad? You are so talented!

    I truly enjoyed reading this piece. I put it in my favourites to be able to read it again and again. Thank you for writing it!

  • 9 months ago

    by Jamie

    I must admit this is the first time I've read any of your poems (i think), and must say your attention to detail and vocabulary is wonderful. The imagery is amazing and the reader feels like they are the person you convey.

    I love how in this poem you take a simple but difficult topic to write and basically write freely, and unfiltered. You don't pull back with anything and you write it within a beautiful metaphor.

    The title is unique, and the poem seems yo be clear in its message.

    I believe the poem is about the struggle with living with depression and wanting to die, but staying strong and trying to live the best you can. The whole poem talks about wanting to be loved by your family but struggling to do so.

    "Try not to walk in the road the time the next car
    comes, its wheels singing hymns of the dead whose
    eyes like mine, stare up at a bloodshot sky"

    ^ This is my favorite line in the whole poem. And is a master class of poetry writing imo.

    With people who are self harmers they always try to hide what they have done from the people they love, because they don't want to feel judged at all, so i love the ending here as well, because it is a simple couplet but wraps the poem up well.

    Overall your writing skills are top notch. Excellent write that i connect to so well.

    • 9 months ago

      by Rosy Cheeks And Irony

      Thank you! I love hearing the quotes people like the most and really relate too. As to your analysis ( loved every second of reading your comment) you have got it basically correct. I am really really thankful for your comment and want to thank you for such kind words. As for you connecting to this so well, all i can say is i am sorry if this has made you think of a difficult time in your life. I hope you are happy! Because you deserve to be xx