Oh my goodness.. Your descriptions, your metaphors, the inner music in the piece; this is just perfect!
"my heart was filled with seasons of happiness, and
my lips weren't polluted with the particles of lies."
^ These lines are phenomenal!
You have a gift of portraying the most beautiful, vivid metaphors in such brief lines. Shane, you were born to be a poet.
My only comment is that the title of the poem doesn't do it justice. Nonetheless, good title or not, nothing will stop me from reading your poetry.
I will wait for every Monday to read your poetry, and I hope that Sundays will always be your writing days :)
This a such a beautiful tribute to your(?) mother Shane. It's so hard as a parent not being able to protect our children from getting hurt, from feeling life's sting ... we want them to be happy always. Your wonderful words are heart-wrenching. :-) x
This is just beautiful. It made me sad knowing as a mother myself you just want the best for your kids and for them to be safe and happy. To know your child is hurting just breaks your heart. Hugs to you and sending you some sunshine-
So, my turn has come to comment on one of your poems once again. Different readers have different interpretation of what they are reading. Our honorable member, Nee , said that title didn't do justice. But I nominated this poem for the reason that you said, "my mother is my God, she is my only religion."
I am a science student, and for me God is 50 /50 percent. I mean there is no proof that he exists except our faith and belief. Maybe that's why 14% of the world population is still non religious.
I have not seen a God, but I read somewhere he can't be everywhere that's why he created mother. So, for me, my mother she is the only God. She carried me in her womb for all those months and suffered all the pain during pregnancy just to bring me in this world. Yeah she fulfills my every wish too. I don't have to look in the sky for dying stars anymore.
The other thing is about religion. All of us born in the certain religion, it's not in our hands(such theories make me believe in God sometimes). Almost every religion is different; the things which are allowed in one prohibited in the other. The religion of mother is same in every corner of the world; a mother wants a safe place for their children, here and there (heaven). Father teaches us how to face this world, but mother teaches us to be a good human being first and to serve humanity as our true religion.
At certain point in life, we have to leave our parents to find ourselves, to become someone in this world. Sooner or later our life begins with our wife and children and often we forget about our old mother in that new life.
Sometimes we become one of the richest person on earth and sometimes we end up in miseries. Our mother never forgets us and it doesn't matter we have billions of dollars or nothing, the last thing our mother care about us is that have we eaten it properly and are we happy. That's all!
When I started reading this poem, I thought it was another poem you dedicated to your lover, but it was truly a pleasure to read something so beautiful you dedicated to a mother.
Beautiful imaginary right from the start and the way you end your poems always leaves me with great delight.
Your poems, they look so real. I mean the first stanza I felt like I had seen all of this when I was a child. I have just grown up so it still looks fresh to me.
SG, I am not sure about your lips, but seems like your heart is still pure. I always feel honesty in your poems.
Hey there SG this is a rather intriguing piece full of imagery which like maple tree (Andrea) reduced me to tears alongside making me all goosebumpy.
Title - kind of does what it says on the tin so to speak but doesn't state who exactly you God is if that makes sense all though I like to think they're all the same person lol
1) This is a fantastic image filled start and makes me think that this person would, if regardless of anything else, sing your praises even if things weren't always so rosy to say the very least but that they were there to support you, love you etc etc and it makes me think firstly of a parent and secondly of a ‘better’ half but it isn't yet clear in this stanza. The imagery here is beautiful that it made me goosebumpy all over.
2) The first line here makes me think its about a lost love and still this person or should I say you thought the sun shone out their back side (without being evil) I say this as you use past tense ie filled and polluted which makes me think this relationship is somehow a thing of the past and one which seemingly turned sour with ending, possibly? Again, fabulous imagery.
3) This stanza shows that whatever happened it caused you to have a depressive time in your life with the words: raining, depression, blue, debris, wrecked ship and sinking which is ashame but this stanza is my favourite because the words all merge into one beautiful image filled parts and I was made to feel a little of how you felt and the last line tells me (or so I think) that whatever happened you blame yourself.
4) This is so beautiful it tells me that this is about your Mum and that you hold her dearly.
5) oh my goodness this made me bawl how very very beautiful.
An outstanding piece of work.