Comments : Burn Me Away

  • 4 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    What a powerful write this is, Maher.

    If cities would stand, you'd conquer them well.
    If the heavens should fall, you'd damn them to hell.

    ^^

    Brilliant couplet.

    Take care,

    Ben

    • 4 months ago

      by Maher

      Thank you Ben, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, good to see you back, my friend.

  • 4 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    long time, no hear.

    A good write - is this a song?

    We have all been there - a silence like a thin membrane, trying to hold back a tsunami of larva.

    sometimes, its best to pop that bubble and release the heat.

    Take care

    • 4 months ago

      by Maher

      Thank you, good sir. It has been a while, hasn't it? You're very right, this is a song and I'm glad you enjoyed it, my friend.

  • 4 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Hi Maher apologies for missing this little beauty but here I am commenting now and hopefully it'll make up for missing this anyway…
    Title: My initial thought was what are you wanting to be burned away from and why. Is it a place, a time of a person and if so it's obvious that this partial thing you want burning away from is no good for you well in my opinion atleast.
    1: The imagery on the first 2 lines is dark and dismal as if you kind of now that things will turn bleak with this person especially as you could be stargazing, having a picnic under a willow tree or both lol but instead you watch those crows blending into the black of night.. I wonder why then read on that you could be anywhere (I feel) and still see the lies in this person's eyes, I presume that this person is the ex maybe even a new lady and you kind of tar her with the ‘liar’ brush because of past experience which if that's the case it's unfortunate but so easily done when you've been hurt badly before. I do wonder why you mention the strength of mountains though maybe you could shed some light on that?!?
    2: This is extremely powerful and majestically rhymed. Shows that this person can have an horrendous lasting affect on whoevers paths they cross. One smile and you're doomed kind of thing?
    3: Oh wow. This is very relatable unfortunately but love can be hurtful yet so beautiful when it works out. Again the image is a powerfully dark one.
    4: Shamazing!!! Powerful and shows that love has hurt you badly in the past. The end line makes me think that even though you have been hurt badly that you still want to be loved and love.
    Take care
    Em x,

    • 4 months ago

      by Maher

      Thank you Em, I have missed your comments.

      The mountains are me, or rather the things that make me usually resistant to things. Them falling is something unfathomable, at least to myself. For 2, you're right, but she's unaware of her power. Thank you Em, I'm glad you enjoyed it