summer rain (rondeau)

by - Mr. Darcy   Apr 10, 2018


within the rain, I heard your name
inhaled your earth scent, as it came
I am bereft without you near
my heart is full, of aching tears
. . .I'll drown, in this, relentless pain

I'm wandering this world insane
retracing you, inside my brain
where are you. . . is that you near
. . .within the rain

on bended knee, to you I came
'oh shower me a sweet refrain'
if I can never hold you here,
perhaps, I'll ever keep you near,
savouring my summer's pain
. . .within the rain

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Mr. Darcy
© 2018

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A Rondeau is a French form, 15 lines long, consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR. Lines 9 and 15 are short - a refrain (R) consisting of a phrase taken from line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the same metrical length).

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Latest Comments

  • 5 months ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Judging comment:
    I could just as easily have given this my 10 points this week - it was such a tricky choice! Mr Darcy’s beautifully romantic and expertly rhymed rondeau uses the summer rain as a brilliant metaphor to express the fear of drowning in his own tears if he can’t be with his love. There’s no heart alive that wouldn’t flutter a little (or a lot!) to receive such romantic words expressed within this wonderful form. :-) x
    =^.^=

  • 6 months ago

    by Mark

    Great win!

  • 6 months ago

    by Ya----Na

    Congrats!

  • 6 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Fully deserved, good fellow - well done.

  • 6 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Love this, Michael. All I would say is that in line 8 you seem to lose a syllable. However, the ellipsis makes up for it with pause, to a certain extent.

    Take care,

    Ben

    • 6 months ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      thanks, Ben. I did think of placing an 'oh, where are you...' but I rather like the idea of being lost for words.

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