Without you ( rhyming Etheree) - first attempt

by Michael   Apr 14, 2018


while sitting alone and thinking of you
my memories brings a shade so blue
knowing my habits broke us down
here i sit with constant frown
without you nowhere near
so hear me darling
in all my plight
I beg you
just to
Write
me a
letter with
your heart enclosed
thoughts to rid my woes
words with love just to read
for this will help plant a seed
forgive myself from ruined past
wept my sorrow over endless years
please grace my vision and prevent my tears

5


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Latest Comments

  • 6 months ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Your cup runneth over Michael! Lol ... this is visually lovely, content and rhymes are fab and adheres to the form! *applause!* blooming well done. I suppose I'll have to try one now! Lol :-) x
    =^.^=

    • 6 months ago

      by Michael

      *applause* why thank you Miss Kitty *an ovation* for all poets :) yes you will x

  • 6 months ago

    by Brenda

    Michael, this is your first Etheree? Seriously? You did a double with rhyming! You have many hidden talents my friend! Nicely done!

    • 6 months ago

      by Michael

      Thank you Miss Brenda, lovely comments. I found this the easiest in truth :)x

  • 6 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Oh I do say what a beautifully sad etheree and a rhymed one too just wow where do your talents stop??
    Line 9 has 10 syllables I suggest taking out my on this line.
    Take care. Em x

    • 6 months ago

      by Michael

      Thank you to both Em and Ben for your lovely comments, and now adjusted from your keen eyes :)

  • 6 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Michael, I have just written my first etheree but it is a 'standard' one and certainly doesn't rhyme! Here, you have a double etheree that does - superb. The only thing I might point out is that the two last lines both have ten syllables, I believe, and the penultimate one should have nine. (scrap my advice if it's wrong)!

    Anyway, this is great.

    Ben

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