Comments : Purpose

  • 5 years ago

    by Megan Chapman

    Beautiful.

  • 5 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Well thought out:
    Layout and content.

  • 5 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Judging comment:

    This piece was quite an intense writing. From the very beginning it could be felt as the poet begins by describing the dense atmosphere at the time of her birth and how she remembers it. The very statement that 'her cells remember the moment the spark entering her body' gave me quite the goosebumps as I imaged the picture of a just born baby opening its eyes with the grave feelings of the world instead of beginning its life crying. All in all I have to state, the poet has done very well to express her thoughts and feelings. Might I add, the free structure works very well to freely portray the thoughts, and free structures in itself allow the poet to write which ever way they wish to, but possibly adding a little punctuation would help the reader understand the poem better and help it flow better. But a very good piece altogether. Congratulations.

    • 5 years ago

      by Tanya Southey

      Thank you! I have only just seen this! Great feedback. I will consider the punctuation as you suggest.