At all

‘Do not fall in love with him’.
That’s what I’d told myself during the first five months of knowing you;
Because falling in love meant getting close to you and getting close to you meant risking a broken heart.
Granted you have never hurt me or put me down in any way but-
I’m still sitting here crying.
It’s not because you did anything wrong;
Or because of how much I miss you
even though that scale is higher than I can count,
I’m crying because I fell in love with
you before I even had the chance to catch myself.
You’re probably confused on my logic here-
So let me explain.
You are the most amazing person I’ve
ever met and;
Your smile has me dazed for weeks at
a time after I see it and when I see you my heart always beats a little faster-
My smile always grows a little bigger.
You are my light when things get dark and my support when the floor starts to fall beneath me;
And I am completely in love with you and that-
That is why I’m crying.
I’m crying because I’m completely in love with you and now-
I’m wishing for a life that I know I can’t have with you and that in and of itself-
Has already broken my heart.
But it’s okay, really.
Because I’d rather love you and
not be able to have you than never have
loved you at all.