My Giant Emptiness

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jul 18, 2018


A giant emptiness is visible from where I stand,
before the mirror in my room.
It's obvious the years have not been kind,
though few would tell me what I tell myself.
What is more important:
kindness, or the truth?

A meditative place, the shower.
Even that, upon getting older,
changes too.
No longer looking forward,
but instead reminiscing.
No longer looking down,
but instead keeping eyes clasped tightly,
lest they fall upon the shame below.
Aging is simply losing everything one ever had,
one day at a time....
a violent punishment for the crime of being born.
Are showers even meditative anymore
when forced to stare at a shriveled, ancient shell of what I used to be?

I return to the mirror,
though I keep the lights off
for it’s more bearable that way.
Less light hides the emptiness within,
although still clearly visible from where I stand
before the mirror in my room.

-IdTakeABulletForYou

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Latest Comments

  • 3 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    A dark piece but insightful. Aging is cruel but unfortunately something that comes to us. I think its true for most of us that the older you get the more you look back. I think maybe because the older you get the more you realise that the future is so much more uncertain and the past always seems so rosy coloured in comparison. With age comes wisdom and finally one hopes acceptance at some point that there is nothing that you can do to stem the tide of time and so give in and go with it. Milly x

  • 3 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This whole idea of emptiness being visible gives me shivers. You expressed such a darkness here, and that need to possibly make peace with yourself and accept who you are today. Definitely more of a pessimistic tone, especially in trying to make up or keep what we once had. This whole poem reminded me of taking steps back and kind of living in that haze of what used to be instead of moving forward or looking to create new moments. To be proud of who you are in the moment and own up to it.

    Powerful piece, Stephen.

  • 3 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Excellent poem.

  • 3 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Stephen,
    Your pieces are just getting more and more in depth as you write..
    This can be taken in several ways.. One I suppose would be how your body has aged over time.. The wrinkles that appear in places we do not want them..
    Another is how I took it.. inside us we have started out as these little humans where everything was a new experience - so enlightening..
    and now as a "grown up" (used loosley), we have experienced life and heartache and love, and its left us this disheveled shell as a person....

    Excellent write. I hope one day you will see yourself as I see you..
    Not as a reflection of your past and mistakes, but as the person you are.. A handsome, kind, loving, amazing friend who does so much for those around him. Always happy to offer advise and help those in need..

    Much love..
    N

    • 3 months ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Perhaps you'll find out the veracity of your judgment after we meet in September. Nonetheless, you have been a constant reminder that I am loved over the years we've known each other, and I only hope I have been the same for you. I was looking over some of your pieces and enjoyed the same sentiment, the maturation of your writing. I suppose that's one good thing about getting old, eh?

      Much love,
      S

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