A million questions on my mind, their answers lead to you.
I never thought, that day we met, that you would hate me like you do.
We never speak; it's been some years, yet still -- somehow you're on my mind.
A puzzle piece which, in the box, I cannot ever seem to find.
It drives me mad, and so it is in madness I exist,
that I have so much love for someone that I never even kissed.
Why am I so hung up on a summer long ago?
A summer that I'll never have again, one that I must let go.
Incapable of love, I am, though when it comes to you
my heart's as open as a chamber waiting for the gun to shoot.
I shake my head to leave that trail, the thoughts of what could be;
those million questions on my mind, whose answers I can't ever see.
My memory is horrid, although funny is it yet
that while my memory is bad, it seems that you I can't forget.
I've tried my best to purge my heart, of love I am bereft:
it seems the purge has made it so that I have nothing left.
Silly me, to think I can control what's in my head
because the only thing I can control is when I go to bed.
It's there that I am haunted, still, of love the likes of this.
You are the million questions on my mind; their answers don't exist.
The turmoils of having a lost love turn into a wildfire is harsh and the poet portrays those feelings in this poem in a sad, beautiful way which kept me hooked onto it until the very end. Beginning the poem with a million questions and stating that they lead to this person and ending the poem by stating that those answers don't exist shows the great dilemma in love - everything is and everything's isn't present at the very same time - and conquering it is what can keep us going on. Beautifully written.
I am so glad you are back. Your writing is amazing as ever..
A million questions on your mind.. a wonderful start.. got me hooked in the first sentence.. what are these questions? Why do they all lead back to one person..
Then it talks about how you no longer talk to.. how you dont understand how they hate you so... this just poses more questions..
The next paragraph talks about how your still hung up on them.. how you didnt even kiss yet there was a moment between you? Im not sure.. just more questions..
Next you move onto how you feel you cant love (which may be true now - but only time will tell).. and how you have closed yourself off, yet are willing to open up for them..
Then you go on to talk about the memory (in your own way). And how even though you strugge with somethings this as stuck with you.. for so many years like a constant replay..
Then you go into how you cant control the thoughts.. and the only thing you can control is where you sleep.. how your still haunted by the memory each day..
Then you round it off with how these questions you have will never have an answer.. such a sad situation
Beautiful piece S.. honestly.. it comes from deep within your soul and almost as if you needed to let it all out..