Jail

It’s funny how when you want something to be a certain way so badly;
You’ll convince yourself that it’s exactly the way you want it to be
even if deep down you know it’s nowhere close.
And that’s what happened with you and I-
I had wanted us to be different so
badly that even when you turned on me;
Even when all of the signs of your
abuse were screaming at me in bold neon
letters I couldn’t see it.
And when you finally weren’t there anymore to make me feel guilty for even breathing;
That’s when everything became clear so don’t ask me why it’s taken me a
year and a half to realize that I don’t have to feel like that anymore-
About any of it.
I don’t have to feel guilty
for enjoying myself or wanting to drink with a couple of my friends;
I don’t have to feel guilty for not wanting the same thing someone else wants and
I most certainly have a voice when it comes to what I want-
And when it comes to almost everything else that pertains to me.
And this may be hard for you to swallow but;
Not a single part of me is or ever should’ve been sorry for turning you in.
I’m just sorry I didn’t do it sooner;
And let them throw you in jail.