During this term I have read a lot of brilliant poetry, stanzas aplenty. This piece was a breath of fresh air for me this week. Ben has written a piece without any fill, just straight to a point and written as a conversation. I like to discover different pieces, this is one I shall try in the future.
Why a 10? Because it got me thinking. Each time I read it I smiled. It is cleverer than it appears.
No easy feat. 10 points
5 months ago
This is probably by far my favorite poem from you Ben. Normally being repetitive in poems makes the poem a downgrade, but you did well here to change each line every time you used the repeating line, so it makes it feel fresh.
The poem is unique to me because you seem to have two people having a conversation here. And the way you wrote it, it could be a very real conversation between anyone. Wife/husband, friends. The two seem to know each other well it seems.
In the person answering the questions there seems to be an inner conflict of depression and suicidal thoughts. With someone who has been depressed for years I find it becomes easier to hide your feelings with smiles and laughter.
The ending stole my eyes because this person thinks that they would be happier when death embraces them. You did well to convay the feelings of someone who is depressed and hides their feelings well.