Wow! For one who has been in writing hiatus, this is amazing! You haven't missed a beat and I look forward to reading more from you. Well done!
7 months ago
I knew you could do it. Glad to see you back <3.
The way you start the poem out, it seems like you have tried to or perhaps have journaled some of your feelings. For too long your journal has been empty because you didn't know how to Express your feelings or if you did know how you didn't know what to say. You think of someone close to you and that leaves your thoughts scattered. It could be love because love leaves your mind scattered.
Continuing from the first stanza wow this wording is powerful. If my thoughts are correct, I believe you are saying that the muse you used to write this poem, is a lie. So love is a lie? I loved the wording of "expired paper" that tells me that your paper has been sitting way too long and after awhile it has "spoiled".
There is hurt in your words. Or should I say the other person's words? It feels like you have had to build up a lot of hurt and even though the scars might have started fading they are still visible.
Oof that ending hits hard, but it truly ties the poem together well. The poem is written about this other person that seemingly you have fallen out of love with.
I don't really have any criticism for you at all. The stanzas are put together well and the story is well told. It all flows great. :)
I personally feel if a writer takes a break from writing, the style doesn't fade, the beauty of words does not fade, it simply sparkles fresh and new ideas, experiences and thoughts....as always you have made my eyes misty ... beautiful poem <3
Woah. There's such an intensity simply in the first stanza. "Malnourished" packed a punch as it left me thinking you need more self-care and that your soul is suffering because of the heartache that is not healing.
The last two lines took my breath away because this "contract" has left you for the worse, this relationship that threatened the very will to live.
Really powerful words. You don't need metaphors when your voice is full of hurt and frustration and it's time for that to be released.
Hi Hannah :-) To be brutally honest then ... this is fantastic and your long hiatus clearly hasn't dulled your poetic precision!
'Love is just a pretty word for suicide' ... that's an extremely powerful line within your excellent poem.
If this is you stretching your poetic muscles after a break, I'm really looking forward to reading what's to come! :-) x
This poem is not malnourished. This is the right and proper nutrition for the heart and soul of other poets. I am pretty sure judges have got their first front page win. Please Don't make this one your last. Keep on penning Hannah
When the heart truly feels burdened and aches so bad, the words fall and flow like a sweet falling rain shower. I truly love this piece by Hannah. Welcome back to the world of poetry, this poem is filled with dazzling metaphors and deep emotions. Just beautiful!