Blank minded it gets to empty in my head.
I lose my thoughts but my memories overflow my conscious.
Did something stupid three years back.
I hit depression so bad. Stupidly I put a gun in my hand; loaded it and stuck it to my head.
Pulled the trigger without second guessing it.
Only luck I had was the firing pin ended up being busted.
Fell to my knees and started balling; unloaded the gun and locked it away.
Through these last years I’ve regretted even trying to end this life I am now living.
Some days I feel okay but other days I feel the world is crushing me.
Twenty-six years old being young dumb and not realizing the pain I would have caused others if they knew my life faded by my own mistakes I made.
Learned taking my own life is easy but nothing easy is worth it in the end.
Had dreams I wanted to make my reality but to this day I’m just trying to find the meaning of DamonRay Reed.
The purpose I was given, I pray every night trying to figure out my destiny.
I am a mistake I do not regret to be.
Only regrets I have is ruining my life and having my family and friends see me breaking.
My daughter who I barely get to talk to or see because of my wrong doings. I apologize so greatly baby.
Daddy’s trying to fix this person I became.
The person I am I hate now worse then I’ve hated literally everything.
I look at my reflection and realize it’s a demon I see.
I’m haunted by my own tragedies.
The hatred I carry I deserve hell for the man I’ve been and sadly probably will still be.
But I’ll never quit no matter the fight I’m having in my head daily.
Depression is hard but I’m a man and I have to stand regardless how badly the devil wants this demon in me to succeed.
Failure isn’t an option I’m never going to be able to fix back then but my future is created by my hands.
I’ll lose a thousand times just for that one win....
