Some really pretty imagery here. I enjoy the concept, and as a whole, it works. I think the final stanza is stark in its simplicity, and enjoyable.
My main criticism of this poem is the second stanza, which is a little confusing in how it’s written
plays a scratchy
memory of a
needle on a
Music is used here as the subject of the sentence, and it doesn’t work. Unless you change ‘plays’ to a better verb.
To ‘a’ favourite tune, is also too general to evoke any meaning. What is the song? What is the stanza other than a play on words? From love poems, it’s personal, but I love detail, significance, rich imagery. The second stanza takes me away from the beauty in the first stanza.
I still enjoyed the other two thirds though, especially the part about the earth hungry for beauty. :)
Daniel thank you for this. It's the only line in the poem that I wasn't happy with myself. I will have a rethink :) Also, I didn't want to name the song as I want to poem to have universal appeal, but I get what you are saying.