Comments : A Splintered Intermezzo

  • 4 months ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Hey Ben, have you fallen for a violin, slipped in between the scenes? A very craftily use of the metaphors, nice work, added to my favorites.

  • 4 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Chills reading this....

    First, "mahogany" is a word I try not to use often, almost like preserving it if that makes sense? It's such a rich word to me, full of voice. I love hearing it in a poem though, I used it before as "mahogany rain" and the weight of a mahogany heart cracking adds emphasis to actually hearing or understanding what the sound of a heart in pain would be like. Leading up to it breaking.

    Also, "maudlin moon" is smooth, rolls off my tongue and has that melancholic feel.

    I'm not sure how I feel after reading this piece. Like something was lost. That last note of the prelude or first piece still piercing the opera house. Not quite settled. Like a ghost.

    Adding this to my favorites and reading again. There's a heaviness and I love the way you broke up the lines here. Glad to see this nominated.

  • 4 months ago

    by Brenda

    Ben, I loved this before and love it now! Beautiful!

    • 4 months ago

      by mossgirl19

      One of the poems I will always remember Ben! I love the title and how it just wrapped up the whole piece. Moments such as this...when captured perfectly in words...makes me appreciate poetry even more. And I also remember listening to that intermezzo you encouraged me to listen to...it was my lullaby until I lost my memory card and I cannot remember the title now, unfortunately. :-)

  • 4 months ago

    by Daniel

    This is a poem that relies on rich vocabulary. It’s quite an unsettling poem, that begs to be read a few times.

    I’m a fan of the majority of this poem, all except the part about licking acid from wounds - I’m sure you had your reasons, but the imagery you created prior to that interferes, and I can’t help but feel taken away from the poem at this point. You know, since you went with the ‘wood’ imagery throughout, it’s a little disquieting.

    ‘Maudlin moon’ is lovely, though.

  • 4 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    So glad this is nominated, that is all <3