I didn't even know there was a word for an "irrational fear of holidays". Wow.
This just.... sums everything up. I think the repetition works so well and it's something maybe others can relate to as well. You describe the panic and anxiety that we all know we shouldn't have, but it's so hard to control or ground ourselves sometimes. I understand the trembling and hand shaking all so much.
Thank you for penning this. And once again, love your voice and how direct it is in your work!