Regression

Locked up in this cage I call my mind,
Walls are closing in and I’m feeling confined.
The darkness seeps in so very quick,
It hits you in the stomach, making you sick.
Mood flying all over the place,
You have no one to turn to since you can’t show face.
Push everyone away, they would never understand,
This is not how I wanted to live, but when does life ever go as planned?
Alone with my thoughts and depression,
No one around to see my regression.
Hoping one day I won’t be stranded,
I’ve had those thoughts before and look where I landed.
It seems the only thing I can do well,
Is put on a mask so no one can tell.
Hiding everything from scornful eyes,
Creating an enormous wall of lies.
The pain gets too intense to bare,
Maybe in the end we weren’t a perfect pair,
I am imperfect and flawed at every turn,
These are the thoughts forever burned.
In my head is my own voice,
Telling me I need to make a choice,
No matter what the decision, I will be wrong
I’m getting too weak, I cannot be strong.
I will continue to sink into this murky water,
My own imagination will do worse than a slaughter.
I need help but it is intimidating and hard,
My body was not the only thing left scarred.
I desperately want to be let out of this cage,
For once I want to take the lead on stage.
Finally being free to be who I am,
Not having a care or giving a damn,
I want to finally be ‘normal’ and happy,
I’ve grown tired of feeling so crappy.
I need someone to show patience and care,
Someone who is willing to let me know they are there
A gentle hand to hold and silently wait,
Until I come back into a healthy state.