When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes.
She’s there in vivid color,
Haunting me,
Betraying me.

When I close my eyes.
Betrayal of the world halts around me,
At least that’s what I tell myself,
Needing one moment.

When I close my eyes.
Moments come,
Flash floods of pain,
And mental illness.

When I close my eyes.
Illness takes a hold,
Eyes stay closed,
But this mind will not silence.

When I close my eyes.
Silence is all I crave,
But pearly gates are full of people,
And all I want is this eternal darkness.