A day in the life: farewell to me

I like to write, i'm not sure why
i do not smile, i do not cry
i am not open, i do not hide
i hurt internally, my pain's outside
i write for myself, for others to see
i am conceited, i have low self-esteem
i am a contradiction, i always make sense
i am stuck in the past, i am at present tense
i am quite hopeful, i am pessimistic
i live in a dream world, i am so realistic
my problems are in my head, they're all in my heart
my life has just ended, it's beginning to start
i love who i am, i disgust being me
i am tangled in lies, the truth makes me free
i run from the past, i am afraid of nothing
i run from the future, it's steadily coming
i am a scared little kid, i'm a full-grown adult
i must bear so much guilt, it was not my fault
in life we must play the hand we are dealt
in mine i have played the hand all by myself
all three rounds, third time's the charm
all on the table, no shielding from harm
by myself i have willed it, i cannot confess
by the time this is finished, i will be undressed
then the scars will be shown, i will grimace in pain
then i will die once more, never to return again.

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