Comments : One Angle Of Greed

  • 19 years ago

    by Timothy

    A cheery man after my own heart! LOL. Good one here though.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "Just like a stripper that flirts with you to release your cash,
    is the hustler that tells you it's OK to smoke loaded hash."

    ^^Loved that. Just beautiful. Really drags the reader right into the poem.

    "They sold their soul for the green, or cheddar even bling bling,
    for they only have one master and they see money as the almighty thing."

    ^^Such stunning lines right there, so powerful and moving.

    "They will die reaching or protecting what they love the most,
    letting greed being there best host."

    ^^I found the flow to be off here. Maybe try something like:

    They will die protecting what they love most
    For greed has now simply become their host

    Just a suggestion.

    "they will find little comfort in the solace of dough."

    ^^LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that. So much meaing and power behind the words, and I found that particular line to hold so much depth and power.

    On the whole, this is a beautifully written piece.