Farewell Note

by Poetically Speaking   Dec 5, 2004


I stand here with this cold steel blade,
trying to fight off the fear.
Understanding why I'm doing this,
I feel the blade move near.
The stinging cold revives my pale skin,
I know what I'm doing,
I'm doing it again.

I stand in an empty kitchen,
the motor of the fridge can be heard;
papers strewn here and there,
trying to find the perfect words.

I stand alone in my desperation,
wanting to be heard.
People say that I'm loved,
but I know that's absurd.
This is my only true chance,
to make things right.
To stand up for myself
in this cold barren night.

As I push closer and deeper into my chest,
I hear the sound of my parents waking from their rest.
"Should it be now?" I ask myself quickly
as I grip the knife tight.
Sweat rolling through my fingers,
dripping onto the knife.

I hear a creaking sound in the other room,
I'm not sure what I should do.
I don't want them to walk in now,
and see me doing what I'm about to do.

At that moment I realize I feel.
I feel compassion for another person,
and it feels real.
The agony and loneliness that I've felt all this time,
seems to have faded now when I realize I'm truly alive.

I put back the knife and grab the note,
run into my room and read what I wrote.
Upon the paper in my hand I see words strewed,
words of pain and sorrow, words which viewed:

"Dear mom, dear dad and sis,
I know that when I'm gone I'll be missed.
But this is the only way,
the only true path,
I feel like I'm alone in life
no matter how hard I laugh.
Some days I want to cry,
others I want to drift;
some days I just sigh,
and others I sift.
I'm sorry that it had to be like this,
I really, really am.
But now that I've made my decision,
this is how it must end."

A tear rolls down my cheek as I lay afloat,
"I cant believe I was going to do this" I say,
as I crumple the note.
What has life become in these past years?
How could I become a victim of my own fears?
I turn off the light and fall asleep in the cold,
wiping away memories of all that I've known.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaylee

    This poem was literally a breath of fresh air. It was not asuicide poem to me but learning to connect through your pain to another person and realizing those you'd leave behind. And that is something people miss when they're depressed, that there is a long list of people who care and could be hurting, whose lives would be turned upside down. I hope those suicidal people read this.

  • 17 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    That was so sad, and so heart felt. I fell as if, I could of been the one doing it or the one whom could of been reading the note. I liked it. Sad, but good.