My Word For Now

I Feel I Should Keep Writing
To Let Everyone Else Know
I Still Have Something Inside
That I Really Need To Show

For Many Long Weeks Now
The Words Have Been Lost
I Think For A Small Happiness
My Writing Paid The Cost

I Still Have Many Sorries
That I Know Ill Never Say
I Still Think Of Cutting The Pain
Each And Every Single Day

The Memories Still Remain
In My Head And In My Heart
They Still Destroy My Smile
And Tare My Life Apart

I Still Question My Love
For My Caring Loving Boy
I Still Find It Hard In Life
To Find The Pure Joy

I Stare At The Stars Above
And Make Wishes So Galore
Even Though I Know They Go Unanswered
They Have No Worth Anymore

I Still Resent So Many People
For Taking My What Ifs Away
For Erasing My Happy Future
And Sending That Boy On His way

I Find I Keep On Crying
Thinking He'll Leave Me One Day Soon
I Know I'm Not Worth That Much
To Have Him Save Me From My Doom

I'm Scared He'll Stop Loving Me
And End Up Hating Me Instead
Just Like Everyone Else Ever Has
And Simply Leave Me For Dead

I Still Resent My Dad
Never Again His Little Girl
Still Hate Him Somewhere Inside
For Not Protecting Me From The World

I Still Cry For My Mum
Knowing I Single Handedly Ruined Her Life
Knowing Every Single Night
She Dreams And Dreads Ill Find That Knife

Even Now I Continue Hating Myself
For Making My Brothers Ask Why
Wondering Why If I Spill A Cup Of Juice
I Just Suddenly Start To Cry

I Miss All My So Called Lost Friends
When Most Days I'm All Alone
The Tears Still Swell So Deep
When Theres No-one On The Phone

I Continue Praying To The Lord
That Ill Get Back The Time I Lost
That All That Was Taken From Me
Wont Be One Huge Horrible Cost

I Dream Ill See The Sunset
And One day Ill Touch The Moon
I Wish These Dreams Would Com Quick
Cause I'm Reaching Death So Soon

So I Hope God See's
And Everyone That Wont Make Peace
The Day Iv Written All My Words
Is The Day My Life's For Lease

Ill Rent It Too A Nice Girl
With A Future Real And Bright
Not One Who Hates Everyday
And Cries Every Single Night

So For Now Thats My Word
Even Though It Isn't My Last
Because With No Future To Write Of
Ill Always Be Writing Of The Past...

Please Comment Or Vote..I Haven't Written Much Lately..Therefor I Have Submitted Allot..So Heres A Poem With Whats In My Mind A Bit Now..Or So I Think..Just Comment or Whatever..Thanks Everyone