Comments : Earth hath fallen

  • 12 years ago

    by Mustardhart

    Hey sweet! 5/5 definately. You have won my heart to get you on my favorite list. You know what i mean? Good job!!

  • 12 years ago

    by Unseen Exposure


    Michelle!!!!!!!!! This is SO beautiful. You've completely amazed and astounded me. Your words are so powerful and spoken with such meaning, it sends shivers down my spine. This poem was acceptional. You've done a tremendous job with this. The symbolism, imagry, diction... it flowed so well, and the rhyming didn't seem forced at all.
    I really liked this stanza-
    What have you to say now, fallen angels of the forsaken?
    Inside this mass of beauty which we all had bruised and shaken
    We had the heaven on our planet, we bore the golden gates
    Now we live born to despair and bearing Satan's weights.
    I just loved it. Its different, and thats what I liked about it.

    I really wish you'd submit more often, your work ALWAYS leaves me in awe, and NEVER ceases to amaze me. I envy you greatly.

  • 12 years ago

    by Heather M Craig

    thank you for your insightful comment.
    you have a lot of intelligence when it comes to poetry and i admire your work, this poem i beyond amazement, i dont even know know what to say to you. you need more poems here, you are overwhelmed with talent. God Bless
    Love Heather.

  • 12 years ago

    by joe

    very very amazing work, great job, that was awesome, flowed so good and just was great all together.
    take care
    -Allen

  • 12 years ago

    by Kevin

    Yeah i'm gonna lamely echo that other girl, this poem is so vast, that i don't feel qualified to comment in terms of improvements, not my cup of tea, but i can see it's very well done and so, i award you.

    A BOLD EFFORT BADGE.

  • 12 years ago

    by pinkalias

    I hate commenting in my own comments but I'm only going to do this once.

    alright Kevin, i truly do appreciate your critisizm, and I am aware that you do not enjoy my style of writing and I honestly have no problem with that, we all have different views, and I appreciate your opinion.

    however what i don't appreciate is being talked to like a 5 year old. I found a "bold effort badge" rather offending. I'm sure you meant no insult, but to me it felt like i was being talked down to. I would have much rather taken critisizm and improvement methods then "i give you points for trying hard"

  • 12 years ago

    by Ashmore

    Wow! This is awesome! You did a really really great job on conveying everything and I truly enjoyed reading it. Great Job! Keep on writing hun. And thank you for the comment on my poem, it means everything.

    Take Care, Jess x

  • 12 years ago

    by Ironic Allure

    I'm not sure whether this is just me, But I really have no clue what this poem's going on about. I'm sure that it's truely beautiful, but poems structured in such a complex way, using such extensive vocabulary do really confuse me.
    However, this could just be because it's not what I'm used to reading/writing myself.

    I must say though:
    'What have you to say now, fallen angels of the forsaken?
    Inside this mass of beauty which we all had bruised and shaken'

    ..Those lines are beautiful. Very powerful and emotive.
    Well done.
    I'm sorry I'm not more appreciative, but It's not my sort of style really.
    Take care of yourself.
    All my love,
    Laura.

  • 12 years ago

    by Ironic Allure

    I'm not sure whether this is just me, But I really have no clue what this poem's going on about. I'm sure that it's truely beautiful, but poems structured in such a complex way, using such extensive vocabulary do really confuse me.
    However, this could just be because it's not what I'm used to reading/writing myself.

    I must say though:
    'What have you to say now, fallen angels of the forsaken?
    Inside this mass of beauty which we all had bruised and shaken'

    ..Those lines are beautiful. Very powerful and emotive.
    Well done.
    I'm sorry I'm not more appreciative, but It's not my sort of style really.
    Take care of yourself.
    All my love,
    Laura.

  • 12 years ago

    by Elizabeth Ann

    "Some find it necessary to pinpoint the meaning of a poem to find it enjoyable...as for me, however in my case I suspect I've a pretty good idea in this case, I believe a poem is meant, broadly, to inspire the reader with it's weave...that is the word placement and the context in whch they are used. Where eventually, something compeletely foreign to the original impression is created, keeping that ones poem alive through their talent of simply context and words".
    This poece seems another segment of you earlier two, however I see no particular order they would need to be in. I'm curious as to whether you plan to write a short story using these three pieces: The World, Absent Angel, and Earth hath fallen?

  • 12 years ago

    by Amilo

    I really liked it. It's almost like a story with a few empty holes on how the fallen earth came to be. The language was marvelous, entrancing from the first line, despite what you've said about it being a weak beginning. In fact, I thought the beginning was quite good - I can imagine some mystical voice, wistfully speaking while a dead mound - the remains of a terrible disaster - is shown.

    And yet, I think perhaps you've spent too many stanzas on description, and if you removed some of the lesser significant ones or lesser developed ones, it would make the poem a bit smoother in flow.

    But overall I thought you did an excellent job.

    "These raptures shall not falter until the world does turn it's wretched page"

    it's should be its.
    it's is equivalent to "it is", while "its" means "belonging to someone"

  • 12 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    Another brilliant piece! You have such an amazing way with words! The entire piece is just wow...but this really caught my eye:

    "A song which began in soaring whispers and ended in shallow cries"

    Oh and I adored this stanza...made for a very powerful ending:

    "what being sees not the beauty beheld before the earth wrapped in a cloth of velvet and stars
    mine eyes are blind and seem to be veiled for all i can behold are battle scars"

    Great job~Holly