The real me

Feeling so depressed
i lie awake at night thinking of the importance of my life
i think of my best friend
how he is so kind
would he notice if i were not there
i think of my mom would she cry
i don't want to make her cry she is the world to me
i think of my friends who have killed themselves will they be glad to see me
or ashamed that i ended up like them
can i be saved?
can i live a normal life?
can my scars ever heal?
can i ever fall in love?
i don't let people in
i wish i could
but i am afraid of what they might see
i cover my eyes up with black makeup so no one sees my empty eyes
i hide who i am
not one person in my life knows the real me,
they no the person i have created
they no the mask i wear
they don't no that every night i sit and think of reason to wake up tomorrow
they don't no that i drag a razor down my rist every night just to make sure i am still alive
maybe one day i will show them the real me
maybe they will understand and the thoughts of suicide will leave

*my poems kind of suck they don't ryme or anything but they are what i feel so please vote and leave comment of what you think*