When

When will I be released from this place?
When will I be with my Father?
I realize that I am not meant to be happy here...
I couldn't even tell you what happy is.
God has blessed me in so many ways...
why am I so demanding?
Why can I not simply choose to accept things?
Why am I suddenly wanting everything now...a mentor,
an accountability partner, a relationship,
knowing what I am to do in the future...

I put on my mask of everything being okay,
but it's not...I need help, I need answers, guidence.
Some think that my life is perfect, it's not.
I may make it seem like it is,
I may bring my burdens upon myself by choice,
but I still need help, everything is not okay.
Lord Jesus, please forgive me for being
impatient, and guide me in what you want me to be.