I like the idea behind it. It could be better, but it's not terrible. You've got potential.

wow i really enjoyed this poem!it was filled with such emotion u could eally feel it throught your words. u should be proud of yourself!woudl appreciate your somments on my work, please!
xxxLoUxxx

aww very nicely written!!! i really liked it. keep it up!
-xXx-

I thought that was very beautiful. You can see a lot through a person's eyes, and you totally captured that. Nice.
><> Kiesha

You expressed your feelings very well! Beautifully written, I can't write love poems probably because I have no luck in that department! ~Brooke~

that is really good!!!!!!great job!!!! i enjoyed reading it!!!
~lotta luv~
~britty~