My Only Grudge

Deep inside the dark depths of my parent's closet lies a box
A box of memories
My memories
Memories I deeply despise and wish would vanish
This box gives off a sinister aura
Taunting me
Waiting for me to release its power
Awaiting the moment I open it and take a trip to the past
My past

Cautiously, I remove the lid
Are you ready?
Ready to see how much of a loser you use to be?
A voice seems to snicker in my ear
I curse it
Toss the lid to the side
And look into the forbidden box's contents

Inside lie class pictures
Kindergarten through fifth grade
Cherry, angelic faces smile up at me
Only, I know they were not accommodated with halos
I know what their insides really looked like
These people were my traducers
Friends at one time
Who later betrayed me
Stabbed my self-confidence
Hung my self-esteem until it beg for mercy
Destroyed me until only a battered, empty pulp remained
No, these people were never a friend of mine

I glance over my fourth and fifth grade class
Where all my dilemmas fired away
I ponder
I tap into my memory bank
What was the root of all this?
Why?
How?
Then I see them
The three little fiends
Whom were my best friends up until fourth grade
We did everything together
We were inseparable
We were the top of the class
Together, we were indestructible
So, I wonder...
What was our downfall?
What came between us?
What did we do wrong?
What did I do wrong?
What happened to us?

Though to this day, I still can not manage to recall the first spark
I couldn't give a ****
Whatever may have split us apart, does not matter
What matters is how they faced it
They abandoned me
Altered everyone against me
Hammered my self-esteem into a dark pit
Annihilated my happiness
And once they were done...
I was done for

A year later my old friends changed a great ordeal
They became ****** *****
Total materialistic jerks
Those ***-*****...
At that point, my grudge became perduring
My first ever grudge
I had never been successful with locking up a grudge
They always managed to slip away
But not this one
I have retained it

I hope to never see their faces again
I escaped them, everyone in middle school
I was free
I was able to crawl out of my hole
Face the light again
My life became brighter
I made true friends
And learned that there are more trustworthy people
As for my self-esteem and confidence
My backstabbers left burnts too deep
To this day, they aren't even half-way recovered
Crisp and dark
Blood pussing out
Manipulated
No...
They are far from healing

If destiny leads me to reuniting
I shan't stoop down to their ****** level
But, they will pay
Somehow...
I will destroy them
Just as they destroyed me