oo thats really sad! very well written though

It should be a little longer. The gun shot makes it a little more understandable, but instead of it being right after the bang put, so I hold the gun before it or something

I agree with missy it could have been longer, good poem. Your could have wrote something like this. While I held the gun in the palm of my hand, I could feel the pressure building up inside my mind. Banging away, sending me insane, while the blood started to pour out of my eyes, as I within that moment pulled the trigger. Bullet spiralled through my head, cutting away at my temple, leaving behind my brains splattered across the wall. Something like that. I hope I was some help.

hey hun! I really loved this poem. So much emotion was put into it...It was amazingly sad. If you are ever really feeling like this, I am always here if you need to talk. Excellent job. Take care