Three, two, one

by Drew Gold   Aug 26, 2005


She stood between the sun and the moon,
reveling in her sense of dominion.
The words that she spoke,
were spoken too soon;
never were they heard again.

Yet all i heard were the last three words.

She lived in constant confusion,
flying with the stride of sureness.
Little did she know
that space was all an illusion,
a second look would confirm it.

But she never thought to look twice.

She knelt under the warm, comforting sun
then came a storm, and it was done.
All she could do, was stare and be stunned.
The warmth dissipated,
disintegrated.
the fire was gone.
Her sun then slept dormant
with her heart beating cold,
and the moon waking before it

And so died the two that were once called one.

_ ____________________________________ _

theres significance in the title and in the lines between each stanza,..

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Andrea

    Wow! i loved it. seriously, i liked the three, two, one thing. thats awesome!

  • 18 years ago

    by Carmen

    Yea.... i found the meaning in between the stanzas... clever. i spotted only two mistakes in this one: 'reveling' should be 'revieling' and these two sentances confused me a bit; 'She lived in constant confusion,
    flying with the stride of sureness.' how can you be confused, but fly with a stride of sureness? that sounds awkward and takes away the meaning of that part of the poem.

  • 18 years ago

    by Shædow Poet

    I really like this poem, I love your creativity, I love the depth in which you went in to write this poem. However, I have a few things that I would like to point out:
    "Three, two, one" a very interesting concept, the only thing that made me unsure about it was that you used "twice" instead of "two" (yes, it is obvious, but didn't follow the pattern) and in the last line you had both "one" and "two" in it. This made me try and find "three" although there was none. I think you should rewrite the last line, possibly without the "two", that way your use of layers and hidden meanings would be clearer. Just a suggestion.

    At first, I thought the last three words would obviously be "I love you" but then as I continued reading the poem, I was actually hoping that you would write three unusual words, something different.

    But, I'm just making these suggestions because when I REALLY like a poem, I enjoy analysing it. You could be a true poet with such literary devices. Such unusual talent, I'm gonna read more from you!

  • 18 years ago

    by shawn hoskins

    That was cool and unique 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha

    I get it! I get it!

    It's clever but I don't feel as smart since you kind of pointed it out. lol

    No, I really think you have a great poem here.

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