Guilt Appeased

by Robert   Aug 26, 2005




I have been waiting a lifetime to do this one thing,
to set aside all the fright, and look at the new world, this would bring.
I have fought too long and hard to turn back,
and now it is time, that remains my only slack.
I have thought it out, every word I should say,
even if I do not like him, my conviction will not stray.
Every waking night, milling over the conversation in my head,
with hours to go, my fingers sweat with a certain dread.
My throat tightens, but it’s not from the flight I foresee,
but it’s the thought of how closely, he would resemble me.
Will he hate me if I told him the real reason, we had to part,
or would he see the love I have, for him in my heart?
I have prayed and hoped, that this would finally come to an end,
hoping that if not a mother, I could be a close friend.
The time ticks on with delay, being the master,
hoping that seeing my son for the first time in years, will not become a disaster.
Everyone said I had to do this for him, to get a better life,
that I could not cope with a child, and my drug infused strife.
I knew I did it all for the right reasons I can see,
just get me past this flight, and be guilt free.
The Speaker just said the fight was delayed for another hour,
maybe I should go walk by the tower.
To find some relief in this time of stress,
maybe this is the wrong blouse, it should have been a dress?
The hour passes on and we finally board, and I am off to see my son,
and I hope to God, I can heal the pain that I have done.
Time in the air, I think flies as fast as the plane,
for as we touch down, the mood of the weather matches mine, with pouring rain.
Into the airport hoping to see a glimpse of his face,
but to my disappointment, I see no trace.
No poster to say here mother, or welcome, or anything like that,
not even a warm howdy, from a crawling rat.
I hate this, my son has told me he doesn’t want me, because he is no where in sight,
but to my surprise, I feel arms around my waist, holding me tight.
Thank you God for all this you have done for me,
for you have given way to my hearts plea.
“I Love you, and I have so much to say.”
“Mom, shhhh we have all night, and all day.”
A tear is shed for the family, that I thought I would never have again,
for God has brought me my son, and now, let our happiness begin.

Written By
Robert Lee Niswander
Copyright 2005

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by azurelady

    Interesting... Especially after meeting him and talking to him, he is far more eloquent in text than in conversation. Maybe it's just shyness??? I loved the context, and the way that the plot played out sort of slowly and suprisingly, but agree that the punctuation was a little off in places... and a good thesaurus would help a little. Some of the descriptive adjectives could have been better formulated to flow more easily. Sorry to be critical, but you told me to read it and give you an HONEST opinion... Still luv ya though, keep it up! ~Anita

  • 16 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    Exellent poem, really extraordinary, youbroke out of original in this poem and it made it really shine, nice job xxx alex xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by JustKristina

    This one was pretty good! i dont really like the structure of it though... and sometimes the rhyming seem forced, but overall i loved the message it sent and and the emotions used! :o]

  • 16 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    I really like this poem...the way you tell a story is amazing! The way you use your words and the way you rhyme them is almost perfect! your a great writer! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    Your poem is really superbly rhyming. I liked your choice of words and its just very appropriate. The metaphors and descriptions are great in this piece. You got 5/5 again