Not So Distant

by Drew Gold   Aug 27, 2005


Memories of a distant past
endless seas which r unsurpassed
blackened heart, was once so bright
speaking only thoughts in spite,
wont you be my love tonight?
how many times have we tried
n how many times have i lied?
its all in the past, just set it aside
shaded dreams of a feeling so clean,
faded screams of the ones in between
I'm afraid of all that its come to be
the message of a broken thought,
comes to resting in the chosen spot,
the lesson that i once was taught
is less than a memory but more then Ive sought
a sensation so true
it could never be crushed,
a creation from two,
so loud, it can't be hushed
but will i ever again hold Ur trust?

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  • 18 years ago

    by Melanie

    This is another really good poem. Your poetry sounds so professional because of your large vocabulary i love it. but i dont like the using r instead of are i used to do that but now i think its kind of lazy and it doesn't go along with how mature your writting is but i mean i really love your poems they make you (or at least me) think. and you were so right i do you my poems to as kind of a alternative to cutting and i also know im a terrible speller i need to work on then good job

  • 18 years ago

    by Lydie

    Good write.. at the start it was a bit bleuah.. but it was worth reading for the last line alone... I quite liked it.. I don't particually like love poems but you captured this one quite well....

    The only thing that really bugged me is that for ARE or YOU you use R and U - i don't like reading all the short hand... i think it ruins the poem.. but it didn't ruin yours....

    Well done... Loved the last line!

    Keep writing

    -Lyd

  • 18 years ago

    by Emilia

    Very good... keep up the good work.. =D 5 stars for this one.. hugs