Brown Whisky

by lisa marie   Sep 8, 2005


Floating back and forth
A happy supplement
To isolate our wrath
And hold in our intent
Blind to our bliss
Held within our souls
So we'll forget we exist
And leave behind our goals
Concluding with an invader
In brown liquid form
As we play like a wader
In a fierce thunder storm
Our brains are destort
While the liquid slowly kills
All that we support,
To be happy without pills

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by John Fleece

    Why of all things whisky? but still rhyme was good, flow was good,so 4

  • Good...very good nice job 5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Katlynn

    I really liked this poem but lets see to me it's like everything you can think about could be bad and stuff but who needs the pills because that's stupid to me that's what i think you were trying to say or how many people commit suicide sometimes. I think that's what you were trying to get out but if you weren't then that's what i got out. Great job though keep it up. keep on writing. love always and forever.

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    I really like the intensity vibe within this. I also like the quick flow! These lines really stood out to me:

    "Concluding with an invader
    In brown liquid form
    As we play like a wader
    In a fierce thunder storm"

    Great job~Holly

  • 18 years ago

    by Prince Enigma

    Wow neat poem, has a drunkiness effect. No using drugs, stay in school ;0

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