Comments : THE BEAUTIFUL ONES FADE

  • 11 years ago

    by RainbowSlider

    Excellent poem.

  • 11 years ago

    by Chit Cyn

    This was horrible incident to a life of a budding female (if I speak literally), but all the same, if I visualize it into another angle, I still see grieve and loss of a dreams, a reputation and womanhood mal-treated from the hard coarse risk of life. You came up with a true account here or say a picture perfected from your mind with slight usage of metaphors, and was able to convey efficiently the message to your readers in the lightest of words that doesnt necessitate high literature. Too touchy, hair-raising. I was struck with an awe. -Cynthia
    PS---Oh by the way, I came up with a new account as this (from Cynthia Aluning) for some reasons better off left unsaid. Thanks to your previous comments and ratings then. All the poems are still intact and the same and will post them here as days pass.---ditto

  • 11 years ago

    by Ike Dizzle

    This is an awesome poem. You make a great imagery in your writing. 5/5
    -Vino

  • 11 years ago

    by just_genes

    I really enjoyed this, especially the contrast between the two differing points of view of each character, each unable to empathise with or see the other's point of view. We none of us can escape ourselves and are in the end truly alone -- it's beautiful!

  • 11 years ago

    by Misstress

    A winner for sure.
    The paced of the poem is smooth, it takes you the world of the lines made, one by one.

    A masterpiece for sure.

  • 10 years ago

    by Blackthistle

    That's so good. It makes so much sense!

  • 10 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    They are young, beautiful gods, full of light and combustible energy,

    I was stuck on that line for a good 45 seconds. I think that may be the best descriptive line I've on this site and I have to admit a pang of jealousy that is, naturallt accompanied by awe.

  • 10 years ago

    by Weeping Wolf

    Wow..gary...i guess i never read this one, i saw the title and had to read it ,and when i did i was even more suprised...its so, powerful. i could imagine it all in mind, almost like something emotionally i had gone through and also, the line "They are young, beautiful gods, full of light and combustible energy" really caught me, very enhancing and strong. loved it, as always with your work, comment mine when you can ~

    wolfy

  • 10 years ago

    by jack

    I loved this peice. maybe because it was so un-usual. i thought the srat was fantasic.the second stanza was very different but somehow very real. this abstracted poem relates to many people in many different ways. cool man
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by jack

    And comment on mine when you have the time.
    thanks

    jack

  • 10 years ago

    by Cattiebrie

    This left me wanting more. wonderful!

  • 10 years ago

    by Nix

    It is very unique, I am impressed. Very good imagery; these are my favorite lines:
    -The girl walks away,
    leaving him
    sitting on the warm bricks,
    the blood flowing down his chin,
    staining his virgin white shirt
    the colour of rotted berries.-
    Great job, it deserves more then 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Greatly written poem, breath- taking and so original and unique. The second stanza is my favorite. Whole piece has amazingly captivating imagery.
    5/5 from me

  • 9 years ago

    by Geoff Clemence

    An imaginary experience of death by the inflictor and the witness. Brilliantly testing the imagination of the reader.

    Awsom read mate..