R.I.P. To Me

*It's long but PLEASE read it... it's about me*

There she sits so helpless
Just waiting for that special day
The day she set aside
When she'll take her life away

Up until that day
She'll screw her life up more
Taking all the drugs
And cutting like before

Stories of her messed up life
Are written on her skin
Keeping count of all the times
The knife just tends to win

Scarlet scars upon her wrists
Tell of all the times
She tried to go but something
Stopped her suicidal crimes

Her blood shot eyes tell of all
The countless times she's cried
She has no more tears to cry
So her end she will decide

As that day comes around
When her 'precious' life she'll take
She'll bring up all the pain inside
And one more cut she'll make

Never will she stop to think
Of all the people she will miss
You can call it 'ignorance'
But ignorance is bliss

As she starts to think about
The story of her life
She wants to end if faster
Just to end all her strife

She curls up in the corner
And she begins to cry
All the while voices whisper
"Just f u c k ing go and die"

Mascara tears leak from her eyes
And stain her pale, white face
Trailing down her satin cheeks
Depression's line they trace

She sinks her nails down in her arm
As she begins to shake
Substituting physical pain
For the pain from her heart ache

As she slowly falls apart
She starts to crave her blade
She takes it out and wastes no time
To add to the cuts she's made

She drags the blade along her skin
As she watches the blood pour out
She feels control run through her body
And the voices cease to shout

She puts away her razor blade
With no sign of regret
She knows that she will do it again
For the pain she can't forget

As she starts to breathe again
And her shaking finally stops
Her weak and fragile body goes
To her bed and drops

Her eyes begin to slowly close
As she thinks about that day
Where all her struggles end as soon
As she takes her life away

*R.I.P. ME... I'll be gone September 23, 2005*

*For anyone wondering why I want to go: I'm diagnosed with depression, ALL my best friends committed suicide, my dad is in jail for beating me, my mom is an alcoholic and she beats me as well, and much much more*

*To be honest, I'm starting to have second thoughts on actually going. So many people on this site have shown so much love and I thank everybody. I'm going to try as hard as I can to hold on... and right now I'm holding on tight.*

***I'VE CHANGED MY MIND... I'M STAYING!!! And I can thank everyone on this site for that... thanks*

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