I like the language you used, but in general it could maybe use a little more structure... but like you said, it's a new style for you, so considering... great work!!
take care, xoxoxo

(ps... if u get a chance, could you take a look at my poems? thanks :) )

Wonderful!!! the style can be a bit cluttered, but that works well with the words you have used. its great! good work!! *votes 5*

Ruby

Beautiful. Captivating. Fluent. Effective. Brilliantly worded. Unique. Enchanting. Flawless imagery. Perfect.

Excellent!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love youp

Long but very beautiful