Its my first poem evr -waiting-

Ive spent my life in the dark
finding my way through lies
not loving anyone not even myself
doin drugs havin sex wit lots of guys

unorganized bad grades
i just didn't care
i had no feelings at all
pain i could not bare

i blocked reality out of my life
i did whatever i wanted
didn't mind who i hurt
from real life i hid

i had finally gotten a good b/f
at least i thought i did
we had sex and he changed
he cheated

i was jealous of him
so i slept with another man
it was supposed to be meaningless
but the next day he took my hand

after that he was always there 4 me
always no matter what
i felt things for him id never felt b4
and from him i never wanted more

this guy was my everything
and we did everything together
laughed,cried,slept side by side
nothing else mattered cuz we had eachother

there was ONE problem
included with our relationship
he was 21 and i was14
but to us age didn't mean a thing

this man changed my life he taught me how to care
he taught me life
and how its not always fair

he taught me how to love
and life was a good thing
he was my reason for living

then i finally realized
i loved this guy
yes love at 14
and i never wanted to say goodbye

no he wasn't perfect
neither was i
i know it was meant to be
for him to live i would die

one day all this changed
now hes locked up
for statutory rape
i didn't know losing him would be this tough

hes in prison
I'm stuck at home
why is it so wrong 4 some 1 to love me
now were both alone

in my eyes
hes guilty 4 loving me
i cant live now not without him
I'm nobody now and so lonely

my life now without him
its tears,fights,no sleep
all i ever do is cry
this wound is way to deep

i hear his fav song on the radio
and it tears me apart
i never ever thought
he would be able to break my heart

hes my first true love
and id die before my 2nd one
i look at the world around me
and wonder what wrong we done

i cant talk to anyone
nobody would understand
is it just so bad for someone
to want to take my hand

this man stood by me
and was always there so now I'm staying and waiting 4 him
it only seems fair

i may be in hell right now
but in the end
when i get to kiss him
our future finally begin

this is my first poem Ive written and i found it makes me feel alot better writing stuff down please comment and tell me what u think this is a very true story and i am lost without my baby!!!