Depression

Im sitting alone
finding the words to write
tryin ti find the right ones to decscribe this never ending fight

is it normal
to be so young and ready to die?
is it normal
to want to say goodbye?

is it selfish
to commit suicide?
or is it selfless
because ive had nothing right in life

yes i know some people care
and that they will cry
but the pain i have inside
is telling me to die

i dont think i could explain
to all of u the issues i have
but i guess its worth a try
you see, i dont have a dad

he scared me here
where he touched me
he didnt care about the tears
its like his goal was to become my fear

the words dad daddy and father
they draw a blank in my mind
its as if he has the power
the power to make me blind

and dare i mention
he wasnt the first
there was one other boy
i quenched his thirst

above all this
where did my sister end up?
lets just say shes in a better place
way up above

is my heart broken?
no my heart is just fine
but whats really f-u-c-k-e-d up
is my mind

i finally found someone
who loved me 4 me
despite of my past
and f-u-c-k-e-d up memories

but do u see the pattern?
love is not for me
i really loved him
but once again im lonely

everytime i cry
i ask myself why

why is this happening to me?
and there is only one answer
i wasnt meant to be

its that siimple
thats it
im sick of living
im sick of this stupid s-h-i-t

my second poem ever of course now my baby is in jail and im hearing he dont want me back i dont know how to live any more and i feel theres only one escape from this heart breaking pain!!!!