Comments : Sinking Ship

  • 12 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Great poem. i like it a lot.

    1 thing though, it might be better if the first 2 stanzas didnt have the same last line

  • 12 years ago

    by Mona

    Breath taking. Very beautiful. So beautiful writin. Very good. I truly loved it, you are very talented, keep writin =) lotsaa love -xxx-

  • 12 years ago

    by Syn

    The first two stanzas have the same last line for a reason.. i didn't just put it in there cause i didnt know what else to put.

  • Wow this poem left me speechless..i have to say that this is an amazing poem and i feel the esact same way...somehow i feel that u r still stuck in ur past...she dumped u...and everybody around u is tellin u to forget it and to move on with ur life when u truly cant...even thoe u tried u just can't ...i know how u feel...i'm in that position...and i have to say that u r one of the most wonderful GUY writers out there...keep up the great work...if u ever need me ...i'm here 4 u...
    love always
    PrEcIoSA

  • 12 years ago

    by Syn

    Thank you PrEcIoSA... lets keep in touch. and yes.. its like you know exactly how i feel..

  • 12 years ago

    by avery

    This poem has so much feeling in it.
    You kept the flow going until the end which makes it even better.
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Syn

    Thank you.

  • Wow that was so touching!! Beautifuly writen.. great job 5/5
    -luv courtie

  • 12 years ago

    by Fighter

    Wow..... im speechless.... you're truly talented. keep it up!
    -xXx-

  • 12 years ago

    by Lenny

    It has a great start. I definitely like the first stanza. The last line in the second stanza if it was my poem id have a different line and not the same that was in the last but thats just me. Maybe cut a few lines shorter in the last few stanzas, but otherwise its got alot of potential and you have a very unique style.

  • 12 years ago

    by Razorblade_romance666

    Wow omg that poem is reallly good wow well keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by .So.Emotionless.

    This is a really great poem, lots of emotion. You seem really poeticly talented. There arn't a whole lotta guys that are, keep it up.

  • 12 years ago

    by Syn

    Thank you..

  • 12 years ago

    by Becky

    Wow this poem is amazing, god i think there should be millions more guys who can write poetry as well as you can, lol thats all i want ina man haha, btu no really though this poem is truly beautiful it is so captivating even though its not long like it held you in, once i got to the end i almost asked out loud for there to be more because it was just so good

    lot of love
    *~*Becky*~*

  • 12 years ago

    by Lucy Loves Not

    This is a very good poem, although capitalizing every first letter really chops up the flow. However, it isn't too big of a deal...regardless...I enjoyed the poem. Subtley simple.

    Lucy Loves Not

  • 12 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Good job, it is different though. Creative subject. Keep it up

  • 12 years ago

    by Syn

    After much consideration. i changed a line...

  • 12 years ago

    by t i f f a n y ♥

    Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. 5/5 forsure.

    Tiffany.xox.

  • 12 years ago

    by Void

    I see that you already have some praise from people, and I'm gonna tell you this - that is all for a reason. This poem is great, I've read some of your poems a while back and fell in love with them all, and I've just done it all over again. There's nothing I wouuld change about this and nothing could make it better than it is. Beautiful job David. I wish you strength and love, and all the best.

  • 12 years ago

    by JAY Poet

    GREAT POEM I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!