Aaron i still love you and that was a greta poem

Great**

Ends ver incompleat..there is so much more to tell, you get the reader going and then "," your done...nice. I did injoying being forced to think. But because of this I have no idea what you are trying to say... You do have great word choice, and beutiful images, maybe work on linking each image, better. But I dont have much critisism to offer.

~Blackrose

I like it, especially the imagery in the first stanza bit.

Some suggestions: I'm not crazy about the use of the word "sploshing". It sounds too... I guess silly for following something you're describing as depressed. You start out with your verbs in the progressive (-ing). Then you change to plain old present (-s). I'd say stick with one or the other. I prefer the present, myself. And I think the ending could stand for a bit more description as well, maybe tie in some more emotions, make us feel why you're proud.

I offer these suggestions because I think you have a lot of potential, and every poet can always stand to improve! Definitely keep it up, and good work.

Its kind of strange you cant really see much of a rhythmic balance but its like you can see what youre writing about come to life.. thats so cool i would like to see more poems like this!
-Rachel

Btw 5/5

Greasttt job..please try and get sum peeps top read my stufft thnxs.

LISSA

Aaron baby....I love you.

You seem to have mastered the art of emotional imagery ....great poem

I really like this. You were very descriptive in this and it's very well written. I really like the way that you ended it.. You did a great job on this.

Awesome poem.. only 1 suggestion I can make.. first line, replace 'dripping' with something else, because you mention the word 'drip' in the 2nd line, and that made it a bit weak. Still awesome stuff man. 5/5

Very nice diffrent i like that keep up teh great work 5.5

Outstanding imagery metaphors

Oooh! This was cool ^_^ Tehe. You really captured the imagry. And even though it was short, It was really good. Keep it up! 5/5

`taleee xx

Wow!! that was amazingg.. i loved that, i had such a strong picture of that in my mind.. i really enjoyed reading that, and i couldn't tear my eyes away.. it used great imagery and descriptions, flowed well, and was just perfect! 5/5! xox

This is a stunning piece of work. I love it! As an artist myself, I can definately relate to this poem and how you feel in it. I love the imagery, and the flow that you created. I love the diction and basically just everything of how you put it together! Great job.. keep it up!
Sarah-Joy

Gr8 job!!! keep up the awesome work!!
maybe you could check out some of my poems while you're at it. :)

Wow

Wow!! i like this!! i love art too so the way u wrote this is great!!