Suicide note to mom

Drink after drink I think that just maybe these pills are not enough I know my life is not that tough
but I keep turning down this same road over and over again the cuts keep sinking in the tears are flowing again crimson tears down my arm this world does so much damn harm you dont even know how far I can go deeper and deeper the knife is sinking in part of my life part of me damn't mom dont you see this world is just not for me please I ask you whatever you do remember its not about you. Okay I lied, you are part of the reason I'm about to die taking my life just dont ask why. Finally you see its not me the sickness has taken over you know the one you refused to see. Its cold now I want to go to sleep it must be the pills I took with the forth or fifth drink. I think one more cut will do it now wow I never knew I put so much inside maybe now I dont have to die but wait its colder now the world is darker now lying on the floor cold and alone the puddle of my life is all around wait whats that sound oh, Hi mom sorry about the mess heres a note for you I think I'm just gonna rest now.