My True Feelings

by †Undone♥   Jan 28, 2006


I always did hang out with you, always goofed around.
But when you looked into my eyes, I'd gaze down at the ground.
I couldn't bear it anymore,
this burden was too much.
So when we would just play around, you I'd try to touch.
Sometimes you would just laugh harder, sometimes you didn't care, When I would just sit and play with your long, black hair.
Now I'm coming out to you, I know this was never meant to be,
Thats why I'm hanging on this rope, holding this note, that holds my True Feelings.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Brillaintly written peice, well portrayed and great use of vocab within

    5/5

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    I can semi-relate to this poem too, and what a lovely poem! I think you are definately going on my favourites list!!

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by YoU-nEvEr-NeW

    Hey i loved that it way really good! i read your profile it looks like we got alot in commen if u ever wanna talk are anything comment me back i got aim if u ever wanna talk on there ill give u my sn if u comment back!

  • 18 years ago

    by Juls

    Good work but I think the flow of the poem would be alot easy going if you broke it up more.
    Something like this maybe..?:

    I always did hang out with you,
    always goofed around.
    But when you looked into my eyes,
    I'd gaze down at the ground.

    I couldn't bear it anymore,
    this burden was too much.
    So when we would just play around, you I'd try to touch.

    Sometimes you would just laugh harder, sometimes you didn't care, When I would just sit and play with your long, black hair.

    Now I'm coming out to you,
    I know this was never meant to be,
    Thats why I'm hanging on this rope, holding this note, that holds..

    My True Feelings.

    Maybe something on the lines of that?
    I dont mean to change your work setup but just a thought Im giving to you to think about. Great work over all
    Juls

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