Eight O'clock

Seven o'clock I go down for dinner
Haven’t eaten in forever
Starving so I had to eat something
And had to show my face

Last time I saw them was the night before
It was around the same time
Something different I expected not

I only got down a few bites
Until I say "I'm full"
Then they start to fight
And say the usual

"You're not good enough"
"Smart enough" "Pretty enough"
"You're too skinny" "You look unhealthy"
"You need to try better"

Seems like forever has passes as I run upstairs
I slam my door and fall to the floor
I curl up in the corner and cry and ask myself
"Why am I here?" "Why do I stay?"
I think of the people I love most in the world
They're not the ones who make me cry
Or tell me I'm stupid or push me away
They're not the ones who tell me I'm no good or tell me they hate me in their own little way

They're the ones who love me
They love me for only being me

A few minutes pass and I pick up the phone
Thinking "Who should I call?"

It was only last night and the night before
And the night before that
This same situation occurred
This time I will make one change

I will make the people who make me cry, smile
I will make the people who hurt me, feel no pain
I will make the people who make me sad, happy
I will make the people who ruined my life, enjoy theirs

I pick up the blade
And start to cut my life away

While my blood drips down my wrists and onto my hands
I write a letter to those of you who love me

Thank-you for letting me be me
Thank-you for not trying to change me
Thank-you for being there for me
Thank-you for telling me I'm ok
Thank-you for letting me be me

Don't cry for me, I've done it enough
Don't miss me, I won't miss myself
Don't be sad for me, please be happy

I finally realized how to be happy

Now I shake and I'm sure my life is ending
It will soon all be over

No more crying
No more trying
No more pain and
No more lying

Lying to myself, or to you

I curl up on my bed
Surrounded with my blood
I look up at the wall
My time of death is eight o'clock