Erased Memories

It's been so long
If you count everything.

A year and two months.
We used to be so happy.

Smile, kiss, and hug,
You don't want sex

And that's how I truly felt love.
I guess we kind of go sick of each other.

We both started heading different ways, getting distant, heading astray

We were like rubberbands.
One minute we'd have it all together

The next getting stretched apart
And then we couldn't stay away for long

We felt the pulse of each other's heart.

You're the only person besides God who know everything about me.

About all I've been through,
How when at night I would cry,

Hoping not to wake up
and to die.

In bed when I lay
I think about how for the

Rest of my life,
I may be afraid.

God is telling me
To let everything with a guy go

And then I will spiritually and emotionally grow.

Sometimes it's good to be selfless,
But you can't always use that as an excuse,

Because from being selfless,
I've been abused.

Thinking about everyone BUT myself,
Always trying to please someone else.

But life is no joke;
I won't continue to throw

It all way.

but it seems like every time I try
To do better, I fail.

I feel like I'm in some kind of jail.
I want to do better,

But I don't know what to do.
So I cry. Ashamed.

And ask God to help me through.

~Monique