So sad. love it.

It's good

Another brilliant poem :) I hope you're ok xXx

Peace. [Sole]

I enjoyed this poem a lot; it's very dark and scary. In the first stanza I could feel the anxiousness and panic in the rapid pace of the word flow. I liked then how you went onto talking about what made you panic, however I think the transaction from stanza two to three needs some help. Maybe if you added a period there, it would give the reader more of a clue that the tenses are changing, same with when you come back to the present. I like how you set out the final stanza, and I think you used a good choice of words. Well done.

I don't really feel much real emotion in it....but don't get me wrong it was a good poem I may not have connected with it that well though..it is pretty well organized and flows o.k. good job.

Very Interesting, I love your style. This is filled with Emotion and I love it. Good Job!

~Joe~

This was really good. You used great POV since it wasnt true! Keep it up! 5/5

Aw this poem is so sad! It has a feeling of hopelessnes & despair. Really great job on this. The flow was really good, which made it easier to read and more emoional. I loved it. 5/5**

The first stanza was my favorite. It was nervous and full of panic and you could just feel the speaker talking through the words. The part about the actual event just seemd awkward. It was good and everything but maybe set it up differently. I really liked the title and how it connected to how life can just change in a split second or...even an hour ago.

Very mysterious and leaves much to question but written well.. really keeps your attention and leaves you hanging, good work!

Really unusual...The use of repetition is really effective, as is again your unique manipulation of enjambment and couplets to tie together the different stanzas so that whilst each conveys a different idea each is linked to every other. Brilliant, 5/5

This was really good!! There was a lot of panic in it. It captivated me. I enjoyed every line of it. Keep up the good work!

I really liked this stanza:

Please...
Someone please...
Please turn on the light.
I see shadows moving around,
But nothing appears quite the same

Wow! I saw that this was a sad poem and has lots of comments, but I never expected something quite like that. (and although it's a heartbreaking poem, it was a pleasant surprise to see something so full of emotion and thought - especially for one that was written for the forum) I definately deserve more ratings than what you have, and I'll put another 5/5 toward it, but unfortunately that's all I can do. I'd also like to say thankyou for inspiring me, as I am about to leave my computer to go write my own poem just this second - and I haven't had clear inspiration for days. So thankyou. I know I'll see much more of your work later, as I will come back and check on you; and hopefully then I'll have something worth while to type here rather than paragraphs of blabbing (sorry). But I just wanted to give you praise for such a good write. Way to go stranger!lol.

Lovely poem I loved the begining the most, it was well worded and the flow was perfect. Great Job.

Wow! that was so sad and unique! it flowed well and you used brilliant descriptions and language! there was lotsa emotion and it really shone through! nice write!

I really like this poem, I loved how you started it the way you did then moved toward what had made you panic, the word flow is also very good, overall I give you a 5/5....good job.
always jen

Great poem! I loved it and it couldn't get any better! 5/5 Keep up the good work!

-Stephanie-

Interesting format for the poem, almost like stream of consciousness prose. Losing one's sight would definitely be devastating, and I think you display the confusion and depression that would certainly accompany such an event.

That was a great poem. I just didn't like the too many 'please's in the beginning, it kind of killed the first stanza. The rest of the poem was great though.

Liked it, great mystery. =)

joy*:.xx