Comments : A Vacation in Paradise

  • 17 years ago

    by Chelsey

    GREAT JOB BOTH OF YOU!!!!!! OMG I normally don't read nature poems but totally loved this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Kristy- my sister, your writing is so awesome loved how you worked your imagination in this
    Darien- my sexy Boo your so amazing as well!! i couldn't even tell what Kristy wrote and what you wrote!
    Excellent you two, keep writing together you do an awesome job!
    5/5
    Chelsey-Lynn

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    Awww! This was beautiful lol. It had really good imagry and I liked how there was alot of stuff in there about the beach. It flowed good and the rhyming was good too. Can't you just write one bad poem for me? So then I can say something bad for once? Lol.. It was really good =D 5/5

    `Taleeee xx

    P.S. Post that new poem alreadyyyy =P lol

  • 17 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "But the stars will be shining so bright
    And tonight there is a full moon"
    future tense then present tense, you should standardize it, most likely to:
    "and tonight there will be a full moon"
    ~~~
    "Palm trees sway in the evening breeze
    Casting playful shadows on the sand
    An endless game of cat-and-mouse
    That no human can understand "
    my favorite stanza, particularly for the game of cat-and-mouse line.
    ~~~
    This was a great collaboration, I couldn't tell who did what, it flowed together so well. The imagery was great, as were the details present.

  • 17 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Very wonderful poem Darien