Comments : Do You Hear?

  • 18 years ago

    by Kalika

    Enchanting.
    So beautifully written.
    I loved it, wholeheartedly.
    Made me smile, reached the eyes.
    The last line stood out above all.

    Exquisite.

    Kalika

  • 18 years ago

    by Natalie

    Wow, That was really good. The flow and rhyme scheme was perfect, && I loved this linel "Incurring tears from empty eyes" That was my favourite bit. Keep it up =] 5/5

    `natalie x-x

  • 18 years ago

    by Lady Vengeance

    Hey, thanks for comemnting on "truth divine" it was very helpful. means a lot.
    I can see you have an extremely accute sense of flow as not a syllable is out of place and everything just fits. it's pretty good in presenting what you're trying to say, however i really had trouble with teh way it was ste out.

    Every poet to his own, but having it all right after another made it increasingly difficult to read. I suppose i'm just too used to structure, adn it could easily ahev been written like that for a very good reason, but yeah, all in all it's quite good.

    keep smiling
    -Suzie

  • 18 years ago

    by oldthings

    Wow, that really is good, it flows so nicely and is so well written and worded, it feels so much more thought out and professional than alot of the poems I've read and posted here. Very beautiful.

    Keep writing =)

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaylee

    I like how everything didn't seem forced even though I'm not much a fan of ryhming poems. I don't know naything about structure so I'll comment on the message. The poem to me was one of the better love poem as it expressed emotion clearly and you could feel it a bit by reading the words. The title was what drew me in and the words unspoken line kept me wanting to read anything else you've written. Maybe because I just love those words.

  • 17 years ago

    by The Angel of Secrets

    Great poem. I liked it alot, and enjoyed reading it.

  • 17 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    This was very interesting to read because every line kept me guessing and all the while the unspoken words lured me on. I felt your pain and sometimes we really want someone to hear the silent hurting, the urgency and hurting really worked in the poem for me. Pretty good.

    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 17 years ago

    by lost_laureate

    This was very interesting to read because every line kept me guessing and all the while the unspoken words lured me on. I felt your pain and sometimes we really want someone to hear the silent hurting, the urgency and hurting really worked in the poem for me. Pretty good.

    [lostlaureate - come find me]

  • 17 years ago

    by Emily

    You're such a good writer! I like how your lines have more meaning then some poets. Good job.

  • 17 years ago

    by azlan26

    !st just some boring stuff..."endurs" should be endures...and this poem would be a bit easier to read maybe if you spaced it out a bit..,.
    Well now I can get on to the important part
    I actually loved this poem :) You used rhymes that weren't too simplistic or normal and the use of questions emphasised the point of the last line...words being unspoken
    Brilliant stuff

  • 17 years ago

    by Bridgette

    This is really good..I loved it..It's filled with so much emotion & the flow was perfect, it really kept my attention. My favorite lines were:
    Incurring tears from empty eyes
    Suffering within each moment
    Without hope of compromise
    Those really stood out to me. I loved it. 5/5**

  • 17 years ago

    by Stabbylou

    Great write! I love this, it flows well and the language used is just brilliant. It's full of emotion and incredibly sad, keep writing 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by LostHopesCrimsonTears

    Really great work. it reads very nicely, great word usage, only thing i can really say is that it looses some of its power in the last few lines, but still i really love it. beautiful work here! i gave it a 5

  • 17 years ago

    by Sole

    Awesome poem . . . Truly. The language used was indescribable, and the effect the poem had on me was amazing. Incredibly well written - Thanks.

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 17 years ago

    by Natalie

    This was really good. Powerfull words you've used. Flow was good, Rhyming was good too. Overall, I just think it was awesome!! It's really sad though.. =[ Anywho.. 5/5

    `natalie xx

  • 17 years ago

    by Fallen Angel

    Stunning writing, the rhyme is brilliant and flows so naturally. Such a beautiful sentiment. I really love the use of repition as well. Favoutite lines "To help me keep this soul intact?
    You promised me, you promised that
    Forever couldn't hold us in and
    Even though the world weren't flat
    You'd walk with me off it's end" Superb 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by J Lau

    Great write. Nicely structured... flowed and rhymed perfectly. Full of emotions that one can relate. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Daze

    I REALLY LOVED THIS POEM, IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SAD, I FELT EVERY EMOTION YOU PUT INTO IT AND YOUR WORDS WERE GREAT, I LOVE WHEN WRITERS USE WORDS THAT AREN'T COMMONLY SEEN IN POEMS. THIS WAS GREAT, I'M WILL DEFENITLY COME BACK AND READ SOME MORE.

  • 17 years ago

    by Laura

    Very nicely written!!!
    I reall;y like this poem. The message is strong and clear. I am a big fan of rhyming poems but I couldn't have done it better myself thats for sure...
    You ruse of words was precise and very efffective.
    The only thing I noticed (and it may have been done for effect) but for these lines:
    Forever couldn't hold us in and
    Even though the world weren't flat

    You use 'and' at the end of one line....it fits well in rhyme but it differes from the rest of your poem where you end each line without a word that does not carry you into the next line. I think whe you have the word 'and' at the end it kinda starts you into the next line....again tho this is just me thinking out loud.
    Great Job! I really liked this poem.

  • 17 years ago

    by pseudo

    Ahh.. BEAUTIFUL poem. I was certainly all caught up in the midst of your words. That was a truly amazing piece. Perfect flow and rhythm. You really have a way with words. I can't wait to continue reading. Awesome job!

    --emotionless.19*